Hello Everyone,

Radio Talk Show host Dennis Prager said some great things today during his interview with John Gray who wrote "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus." One thing Prager said is "You cannot be politically correct and be wise." Ah yes, I will have to add that to my wall of great quotes. The reason he said this is because he was responding to when Gray said "men appreciate women more than women do men."  This is not PC by any means, in fact for many, these are fighting words. The point of this generalization is to look at the different nature of men and women. Dr. Laura (one of the greatest authorities on relationships and marriage) said that men are easy. And that if the women they love show them respect, the men will slay dragons for them and work day and night. It’s funny, whenever I hear that phrase "day and night" I always think back to when TIME magazine interviewed Vladimir Putin, the president of Russia. TIME commented on Russia's luck with the rising economy to which Putin responded "Luck is a fool's term, we work day and night." The same can be said about great love. Some look at a couple and say "they got lucky in love." Is that really true, or do they work day and night... and yes what you're thinking of also applies.  One could rephrase the sentence and say "they got blessed with looks, which attract options for love." Tim Stafford once commented in "Love, Sex and the Whole Person," that if you were magically turned beautiful, you would find that your problems are far from solved. Preach it Tim, you da man. The point is, even Julia Roberts has to work at a relationship.

In a blog related to the day and show's topic, Prager talks about love and the notion of unconditional love. He makes great points and then moves onto perhaps the greatest form of love, and that is God's love for people. Being Jewish, Prager has a different understanding of God's love then Christians might. It's hard to make sense of God's love because it's a love so great that he sent his son to die for us which was an act of love. We can certainly appreciate this expression of love as we are moved by God's love. Prager then proposes the question "Can God be moved by our love?" Prager says yes, and says that if this is not the case, as with unconditional love, then that "renders Him (God) a love machine whose love cannot be affected by our behavior." Interesting notion Prager.

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Dennis Prager

3. That is one reason the notion of "unconditional love" is foolish. The fact is, we all earn love, and it is a good thing to have to do so. What possible good purpose can the belief that your spouse loves you unconditionally -- i.e., no matter how you act -- serve? If we believe our spouse loves us no matter what we do, what would motivate us to be on our best behavior at all times? Why be kind even when we are in a foul mood? Why work to stay attractive if he will love me no matter how much I neglect how I look? Why continue to pay attention to her -- like regularly calling her from work -- if I know that even if I ignore her, she will continue to love me?

Unconditional love is not a good idea. I don't know where it originated, but I am quite certain it's relatively recent, a product of an age that has put primary importance on feelings. With the possible exception of a parent's love for a young child, unconditional love is not a good idea among people, and it's probably not a good idea concerning God's love for us. I am familiar with no biblical basis for the notion that God loves us no matter how much cruelty and evil we engage in (God's love of His Chosen People, Israel, is specifically depicted as conditional upon Israel's behavior), or for the notion that God loved Adolf Hitler and Mother Teresa equally. Frankly, I would be disappointed in such a God. It renders Him a love machine whose love cannot be affected by our behavior, not a loving being who is affected by how we act. It renders His love amoral. And it prevents us from growing up.

            Prager has a way of hitting the nail on the head. In this case he may have been slightly off. Nonetheless the principles are accurate and much can be learned.

Have a Happy Single Awareness Day,

I mean Valentines Day….

~ Caleb Garcia